By JANIE LACY MENTAL WELLNESS   There are two critical skills that you can use to deepen your connection for any type of relationship. Of course, romantic partnerships are wonderful, but love encompasses much more than just that. Love exists in many forms and enhances our lives immeasurably—whether between friends, colleagues, family members, neighbors, pets, nature, or yourself! One of my favorite definitions of love is contingency—a felt sense of powerful understanding or connection, a meeting of minds, a communion of souls. It’s that feeling when you “get gotten” and “feel felt” where you are seen, understood, and appreciated on a deep level. Contingency is built through presence and attunement—two of the most influential and essential secure attachment skills. Attunement and secure attachment are very similar concepts. Both involve understanding someone deeply, listening, tuning in, and expressing empathy. Similarly, presence is a skill that involves mindful and intentional listening, so you can better support someone with whatever they’re experiencing. Why Attunement Matters Attunement is one of the cornerstones of secure attachment. When we’re babies, we rely on our caregivers for survival. If a parent or caregiver is attentive to our needs and responds consistently and appropriately, we understand that our environment is generally safe and that we matter and are valued. If we do not receive consistent emotional support and attention as children, we may develop insecure attachment adaptations (or styles) that can influence our adult relationships and outlook. The good news is that we are innately designed for secure attachment and can develop skills and practices that help us move back toward this state. Attachment wounding and trauma are relational, and healing also happens in relationships. To get you started, I’m sharing some of my favorite strategies. These practices help you become more aware and...... Read more on Full Issue!