Grace Under Fire

Monday February 1, 2021


When logic fails to explain the undeniable and seemingly impossible desired outcome, this is what I consider hard evidence of God’s grace and approval; a miracle. But miracles are not without scars coming from the journey of having one’s faith tested, heart-wrenching desperation, a battle of wills, and certainly not for the faint of heart.

In my journey, I’ve come to realize that deep adversities are platforms where God shows you who He is, and what He can only do. In the world of “spiritualisms” – or quite often what I call “juju stuff” – where so many throw the term “goddess, guru, self-help” and more, one worn defines it all… Faith, a required discipline that gets tested repeatedly. The heartbreaking problem of today is that it negates the other miracles that occurred in the past. This causes doubt once again to rear its ugly head. It mocks you, and where logical reasoning calculates and presents “facts”, the magnitude of impossibilities heightens anxieties. Sound familiar? One would think that given the amount of miracle moments and answered prayers we have had in the past, we would be experts of faith by now with an iron clad will, unmoving despite the pressures of this life’s uncertainties and thought catastrophes. Yet this is not the case…at all.

I’ve been there myself and transparently, still go through it. “Peace Be Still” seems to be elusive at moments, resulting in the emotional down spiral it causes. These are moments of Grace under fire.

As a public figure, the pressure to show up fully is based both on audience demand and a self- imposed requirement. “I am” the role model or source of “inspiration” after all, as the world puts it. Publicly, the smile, the speech, the walk, and the look are all on point, and the rattling-off of big accolades that validate that incredible journey have an impact. Privately though, there could presently be an inner turmoil undetected by everyone, especially those with an undiscerned Kingdom eye. Yes, Kingdom.

Across global stages, I have spoken on the miracle of a humanitarian event I called “One Night One Voice” back in 2013. It was a benefit concert for the Philippines, after the country was plunged into a natural disaster crisis. What seemed to be the beginning of a humble small cabaret quickly grew into a large-scale benefit concert launched in three short weeks, activated by a prayer to impact humanity. It ended up impacting over 20,000 people in fact. That was just the beginning. Over the next several years of my life, the bigger-than-life platforms, the stages, the circles, the global connectivity, and exposure seemed to be a streak of unbelievable luck and hard work, as everyone threw me a hearty congratulations and applause. But behind the scenes were the scars I didn’t show. The fiery battleground, heartbreaks, betrayals, sleepless nights, loneliness, sadness, aloneness and dare I say, where faith felt faint and far. Tear-filled prayers where God should always be my first resort, yet these were times where He became my last resort. Ironic isn’t it?


A man who I deeply care about – and for those who have seen the public photos, I kick it back to his own column, titled “Kingscript” in this magazine – who said to me, “The truth isn’t always beautiful, nor beautiful words aren’t always true.” There were moments I spoke of faith where it felt far. Moments where I reached out for “life-line calls” to my inner prayer circle, all of whom typically provided the strength where mine also seemed to escape me. Yet the one pattern I have observed in my life is this: the bigger the attacks to overcome, the larger the reward that God has on the horizon. Thieves do not rob an empty home after all, nor does the enemy attack unless the potential impact is greater and the testimony for God…powerful.


Without going into too much detail, and as our story continues to unfold, such was the unexplainable series of events that have allowed my journey to cosmically collide with the man who poured his own dedication of respect, love, admiration, and self-confession into his being. I am the woman that changed the direction of his life, as he very much did mine. That man is Mark Anthony King. In a tale of two different directions, where choices in our respective lives led us, the battleground of my past prepared me for God’s redirection into his own life years later. It all started as a singular “glitter bomb” moment of calling-out the incongruences, all because of an inner voice and a powerful feeling directed from Heaven; to speak life and truth into his soul. What we went through rivals any watered-down Hallmark predictable movies out there. Instead, faith and calling-on the bible made promises of defying impossibilities came into full play. Stay tuned for whenever that time is to come for one heck of a testimony still in the making. The main lesson I want to share here is that my journey of the past; those pains and where courage was tested, became the very ingredients needed to significantly impact this incredible man’s Kingdom journey, and unleashing his own impact in God’s calling into congruency. To point it all back up while using everything he has been blessed with in talent to speak life and also move nations.

His presence and arrival in my life was a prayer answered dished-out years ago, but as I have eluded a life script still unfolding where only God can reveal in time. Love is present because God’s love is immovable, and as Mark has stated, the one thing God can’t do is abandon you.

What is courage? The ability to keep moving past the visible obstacles and silence the head noises; to focus on the heart space, frail as it may be, with a singular word called “hope”. It’s facing fear that often frightens most. What is grace? Grace in this article is the mercy given to us by God, and the combination of courage and mercy becomes a powerful weapon that ultimately obliterates what may seem momentously impossible using irrefutable scripture – God’s word.

It is no wonder that the Bible has 8,810 promises of which God has not once broken. And when facing the deepest adversities, I invite you to lean on them, and trust up, and pray in. The hard part is believing in the things unseen, yet the God I know who has seen me from the time I was born has not failed once. It’s free will that often derails destiny’s plan, however can it be redirected? Yes, in obedience – because God is never far. He is close to the brokenhearted, the confused, the angry, the betrayed, and even the ones who ran away from Him, and he has the power to convert those who may not believe at the moment.

My life is a testimony of many times that belief and grace came under fire. I’ve met others along the way that embodies such. From the trenches to global stages, the power of taking courage showed the triumph that unfolded. Stay steadfast because He is never failing. Some of my favorites are Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 54:17, Ephesians 6:11, Matthew 7:7 – and I encourage you to look up more that your current life situation needs at this time.

You see, to God you are not just a label, and you are not someone to just be put on a waiting list of uncertainty. To God you are a priority. Let that sink in: a priority. The answers may come not at the time you want it to come, but trust that He works all to perfection. It’s a complete challenge to be in the battlefield called patience. It’s almost as if you’d give everything to expedite the process and avoid the pause – oh that pause is torture, but be gentle with yourself. Abraham wanted a son for the longest time, and the delay was because God was preparing him for tribes and nations. He never plays small scale, so the results will be significant. It’s in the unknown that seeds of fear take its attempt to root itself. But I encourage you to know that, the very reason the prayers you may have uttered are still unanswered, is that God doesn’t want to deliver a half-baked result that can further do damage or pain. Rather something of cause to be grateful for, celebrate in sincerity, and used as a testimony.

So if you find yourself in the middle of what seemingly is a crazy battleground, know that surrender to God activates every good reinforcement, blessings, and battleground fight in God’s favor, to benefit you. Welcome your Grace under fire, where the win is guaranteed in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.

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