3 Ways To Break Patterns of Toxic Love


By: Janice Lacy

 

“I’m so sick of that same old love, feels like I’ve blown apart — I’m so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart,” are the words from the popular Selena Gomez song titled, “Same Old Love.” Have you ever considered your pattern in love relationships? Have your relationships left you feeling empty, angry and lonely over and over again? The painful reality is that many people find it difficult to stop to observe what they accept, tolerate and come into agreement within their love relationships. If you discovered that you are sick of that same old love and that you have had enough, then here are three ways to break your pattern of toxic love:

3Heal from “Unfinished Business:”

It is extremely important that you look at where your patterns may have originated and to also examine your emotional stuck points (the parts of you that are still immature and have not matured) in order to heal from toxic relationship patterns. If you have experienced repetitive patterns of childhood emotional neglect, you may be looking to fill emptiness and a void that cannot be healed unless you enter into a process of discovering the things that you needed but did not get in your developing years that may have contributed to your dysfunctional love patterns.

These steps are very difficult and can be painful at times to work through. However, it will be worth it when you arrive on the other side! You will need to stay committed to the process even when the work feels too hard if you’re going to make the necessary changes that will break your dysfunctional relational patterns. A broken heart causes a lot of grief and can make daily life challenging. If the love relationship is addictive and toxic, the break-up can be even more devastating physically, mentally and spiritually. You can build a better understanding of your own history and make the necessary life changes to be happy and healthy in your romantic relationships when you commit to breaking your toxic love patterns and when you get sick enough of that same old love.

Tired of the same pain with a different face that keeps showing up in your relationships? What is it about you that keeps attracting them over and over again? You know you are made for much more despite the “you are too much or not enough” voices that plagues you. Break the bonds that holds you back from living an unfulfilled life.

JANIE LACY, LMHC, NCC, CSAT
RELATIONSHIP TRAUMA EXPERT, PSYCHOTHERAPIST, & TV
COMMENTATOR
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