Page 27 - Manila Up Vol3#7

MENTAL WELLNESS BY JANIE LACY

they are put in this situation because it forces them to can see the steps to take to bring resolution.
choose against someone they count on to be their safe When couples have children, they must keep in
place. mind that the children are going to learn a lot about
problem solving by watching their parents. This can be
Do expose your children to discussions a great training ground by learning how to disagree,
3 that are age-appropriate: but still show respect and compassion for each other.
It is very difficult during tense times to think through The children will observe their parents, take on how
how your child is viewing the parent’s disagreement they handle these times and then go use what they
due to the emotions going on, but try to be very have learned in their real-life conflicts and arguments.
sensitive to the subject being discussed so the child is Are your interactions with your spouse teaching your
not exposed to topics that are past their understanding children positive, conflict-resolution or is it setting
or just inappropriate. Complaining to your child them up to go into the world and escalate the tough
about personal habits of your spouse, sexual matters situations they find themselves in with siblings, friends,
or even some financial issues will certainly do much classmates, or co-workers? By following these four tips,
more harm than good. It will bring great confusion to you and your spouse will truly model for your children
a child that is put in this situation and cause them to how to fight fair while protecting their emotions! n
try to “grow up” too fast! There are many other options
for parents to go to if they need to vent, such as a
counselor or a trusted friend of the same sex but never ABOUT THE AUTHOR
the child! Janie Lacy is an accomplished and well-recognized
psychotherapist with over 10 years of experience. She has
Do have disagreements that can be appeared as a psychological expert on hundreds of local
4 resolved: You and your spouse both know those and national radio and television shows discussing topics
on relationship trauma, sex & love addiction, and anger
areas that are either your “hot button” or that the two management. Ms. Lacy knows how to energize a room and
of you just can’t get resolved, those are the areas to stay is a highly sought-after event host and a popular professional
away from in front of the children. Remember, they speaker on toxic love relationships, how to make relationships
are learning how to deal with differences and disputes work, and taming the monster within. She enjoys spending
from their parents and they need to see that having time with family and friends, philanthropy, and reading in her
spare time.
arguments is not necessarily a bad thing as long as they
are handled respectfully in the interactions and they

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