By: Janie Lacy Did you know that approximately 15.5 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year and a current or former intimate partner kills three women each day? This is more than just a statistic to my family and myself. I counsel individuals every day who are or have been in abusive/violent relationships and my family lost my eldest sister Carmen Rivera to domestic violence over 20 years ago. If we are to truly help those that are in domestic violent relationships, it is imperative that we understand the psychology behind those who choose to stay in these relationships. People who have not been in abusive situations find it very difficult to understand this level of dysfunction. Many times the victims are blamed for staying in this situation. In my sister’s case, she was no longer in the relationship with the man who took her life. In fact, she had a restraining order against him when she was murdered. 1. Dysfunctional Emotional Connection. Those who use power and control with their partners are often verbally, emotionally and physically abusive along with apologies, promises, and affectionate to their victims. This often confuses the victim and they can often start blaming themselves. 2. Toxic Shame. A victim deep down often feels that something is wrong with them rather than the behavior of their partner. This results in a tremendous amount of feelings of shame and embarrassment. This more often times than not, leads them to cope with denial of the reality of their situation. 3. Safety Concerns. In many cases, the abuser has threatened deadly harm to the partner or to the children if the partner tries to leave him. This was the case with my sister Carmen, her murderer, up to three days before...... Read more on Full Issue!